I want a wife ....

Ahhhh - an exhausting Sunday. I'll leave you with a final weekend thought!

1- I belong to that classification of people known as wives. I am A Wife. 

And, not altogether incidentally, I am a mother.

2- Not too long ago a male friend of mine appeared on the scene fresh 

from a recent divorce. He had one child, who is, of course, with his 

ex-wife. He is looking for another wife. As I thought about him while I 

was ironing one evening, it suddenly occurred to me that 1, too, would 

like to have a wife. Why do I want a wife?

3- I would like to go back to school so that I can become economically 

independent, support myself, and, if need be, support those dependent 

upon me. I want a wife who will work and send me to school. And while I 

am going to school, I want a wife to take care of my children. I want a 

wife to keep track of the children's doctor and dentist appointments. And 

to keep track of mine, too. I want a wife to make sure my children eat 

properly and are kept clean. I want a wife who will wash the children's 

clothes and keep them mended. I want a wife who is a good nurturant 

attendant to my children, who arranges for their schooling, makes sure 

that they have an adequate social life with their peers, takes them to 

the park, the zoo, etc. I want a wife who takes care of the children when 

they are sick, a wife who arranges to be around when the children need 

special care, because, of course, I cannot miss classes at school. My 

wife must arrange to lose time at work and not lose the job. It may mean 

a small cut in my wife's income from time to time, but I guess I can 

tolerate that. Needless to say, my wife will arrange and pay for the care 

of the children while my wife is working.

4- I want a wife who will take care of my physical needs. I want a wife 

who will keep my house clean. A wife who will pick up after my children, 

a wife who will pick up after me. I want a wife who will keep my clothes 

clean, ironed, mended, replaced when need be, and who will see to it that 

my personal things are kept in their proper place so that I can find what 

I need the minute I need it. I want a wife who cooks the meals, a wife 

who is a good cook.  I want a wife who will plan the menus, do the 

necessary grocery shopping, prepare the meals, serve them pleasantly, and 

then do the cleaning up while I do my studying. I want a wife who will 

care for me when I am sick and sympathize with my pain and loss of time 

from school. I want a wife to go along when our family takes a vacation 

so that someone can continue to care for me and my children when I need a 

rest and change of scene.

5- I want a wife who will not bother me with rambling complaints about a 

wife's duties. But I want a wife who will listen to me when I feel the 

need to explain a rather difficult point I have come across in my course 

studies. And I want a wife who will type my papers for me when I have 

written them.

6- I want a wife who will take care of the details of my social life. 

When my wife and I are invited out by my friends, I want a wife who will 

take care of the baby-sitting arrangements. When I meet people at school 

that I like and want to entertain, I want a wife who will have the house 

clean, will prepare a special meal, serve it to me and my friends, and 

not interrupt when I talk about things that interest me and my friends. I 

want a wife who will have arranged that the children are fed and ready 

for bed before my guests arrive so that the children do not bother us. I 

want a wife who takes care of the needs of my guests so that they feel 

comfortable, who makes sure that they have an ashtray, that they are 

passed the hors d'oeuvres, that they are offered a second helping of the 

food, that their wine glasses are replenished when necessary, that their 

coffee is served to them as they like it. And I want a wife who knows 

that sometimes I need a night out by myself.

7- I want a wife who is sensitive to my sexual needs, a wife who makes

love passionately and eagerly when I feel like it, a wife who makes sure

that I am satisfied. And, of course, I want a wife who will not demand

sexual attention when I am not in the mood for it. I want a wife who

assumes the complete responsibility for birth control, because I do not

want more children. I want a wife who will remain sexually faithful to me

so that I do not have to clutter up my intellectual life with jealousies.

And I want a wife who understands that my sexual needs may entail more

than strict adherence to monogamy. I must, after all, be able to relate

to people as fully as possible.

8- If, by chance, I find another person more suitable as a wife than the

wife I already have, I want the liberty to replace my present wife with

another one. Naturally, I will expect a fresh, new life; my wife will

take the children and be solely responsible for them so that I am left free.

9- When I am through with school and have a job, I want my wife to quit

working and remain at home so that my wife can more fully and completely

take care of a wife's duties.

10. Now who wouldn't want a wife!!!!